HEADLINES this week

Special thanks to a few contributors on these. Anyone who has a few good ones, send them to Northernplight@gmail.com.

front page:

PARENTS FOUND GUILTY IN EASTER CANDY RAZOR-BLADE DEATH

sports:

STUDENT WITH NO MEDICAL INSURANCE STITCHES OWN ROLLERBLADING WOUND

politics:

FAVORED T.A. SUES NCU FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING

local:

LAST COLLEGE DAYS ATTENDEE FINALLY LEAVES, PREGNANT

arts & entertainment:

FRESHMEN’S “PLUCKING G-STRING” JOKE UNLEASHED ON UNSUSPECTING PUBLIC

lifestyles:

EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLL STACK KNOCKED DOWN, BUT NOT OUT

opinion:

“Give me one good reason and I’ll stop awkwardly following you around.” -Not So Sneaky Kid Who Sits Sort Of By You At Lunch

This entry was posted on Monday, April 7, 2008 at 10:55 am and is filed under headlines, politics, sports. Tagged: , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 Responses to “HEADLINES this week”

  1. racethedream Says:
    Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 11:44 am

    I feel that freshman’s pain. I once broke a g-string while fingering a minor. It’s just no good.

  2. Bernstein Says:
    Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 11:50 am

    I am literally going to take a shower now.

  3. racethedream Says:
    Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    What, man? Led Zeppelin is hard to play.

  4. Pearl Inez Says:
    Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    hahahahahahaha.

    ….fantastic.

  5. What about Bob Says:
    Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    So uh, honestly, these are lacking satire and are more dirty/stupid. I’m kind of disappointed.

  6. thatoneNCUgirl Says:
    Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 12:12 am

    Agreed … I have to say it guys, these are WEAK!

  7. Ed Rockwell Says:
    Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    I really liked the rollerblading one though. That one sounds like every minor surgery I’ve ever had to do on myself because HCMC scares me. Outside of that…

    There’s ALWAYS room for improvement.

    And Racethedream?

    You’re hilarious.

  8. racethedream Says:
    Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    Mucho Gracias, Mr. Rockwell.

  9. Called. . . to the Student Development Office Says:
    Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    Actually . . . it sounds like the “Beginning of the End” started with these headlines!

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