The Northern Plight

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - In a press release this week, North Central University announced that it will be hosting and producing its own Christian reality show entitled “Initial Evidence”. The show borrows many different themes from other popular reality TV shows but is currently being describing as a cross between Survivor and American Idol.

A spokesperson for NCU explains, “We will interview and select 24 students that will be required to compete in a slew of Christian themed challenges that will increase in difficulty as the show progresses. The first challenge will be reminiscent of a Junior Bible Quiz tournament that will immediately narrow the field down to 12 finalists.”

The school is being relatively tight lipped about what the majority of the challenges will consist of but it did leak a few details about some of the more entertaining and “character revealing” tasks. One particularly interesting challenge will involve the contenders walking a tight rope across Elliot Park while throwing Salvation Tracks out to “heathens”. The challenge will be scored on time and accuracy.

“We are trying to incorporate as many different facets of Christian culture and evangelism as possible. But the final challenge will be a true test of perseverance, holiness, and sanctity,” The spokesperson continues, “The final two contestants will compete in a winner-take-all prayer language off, the person who can speak in tongues for the longest period of time will take home the handsome reward of a new leather bound Bible and a $250 scholarship for next semester.”

The media, at this time, has been given no reason as to why the pentecostal school decided to produce this sure fire mega-hit. Early speculation has pointed out one probable reason being the horrible economy and that a drop in new attendees is partly to blame. NCU most likely expects to make a good chunk of money off local sponsorships it intends to nail down to advertise during the show. As of right now, NCU has already signed four lucrative contracts with Mytshirtguys.com, Buffalo Wild Wings, Northwestern Bookstores, and Hooters. The first episode will air after the NCAA Championship game on CBS.

-Bernstein