The Northern Plight

THE NORTHERN PLIGHT NOW BRINGS YOU, YOU!

Be a part of the 2nd or 3rd most popular NCU satire blog in North Central history! The Plight is now opening up the proverbial flood gates and letting in the equally proverbial running water as well as otters with clams that they’re busting open with rocks. Except instead of clams, they’re satire stories and instead of otters, they’re you! The rocks? Well, the rocks are something else that fits the metaphor… the internet or google or something.

Are you an aspiring writer? Do you pretend to be one at parties? Do you have a bone to pick and you know North Central would never let you publish it? A ‘yes’ to any of these questions, means the Northern Plight Guest Editorial Contest is for you! Here’s the deal:

Send us an article in the style of the Northern Plight before midnight on

Friday November 9th.

We’ll publish our picks for the 3 best stories before chapel on

Monday November 12th.

The three winners will receive a free Northern Plight T-Shirt!

Here are the rules for your articles:

1. NO NAMES OR DETAILS WHICH WOULD IDENTIFY A SPECIFIC PERSON
It’s just not cool. People deserve to be plighted, we understand this, but be creative enough to get them without indicating specifically who they are.

2. NO PERSONAL ATTACKS
Seriously, don’t be a douchebag. You know what’s appropriate and what’s not. Criticize by creating something original and clever, not raunchy or underhanded.

3. GIVE US YOUR PREFERRED PSEUDONYM
Or we’ll pick one for you. Of course, you can publish under your real name if you want … but that’s no fun.

4. KEEP IT SHORT
We wont put a cap on your article’s word count but bear in mind if your article is much over 700 words, people probably aren’t going to read all of it, and that’s a shame if you saved a real zinger for the last paragraph.

5. STAY ON TOPIC
This is more advice than anything else. Pick the one or two issues you wish to address and stick to ‘em. Putting every single little complaint you have about NCU or christian culture into an article can get confusing and will cause your words to lose poignancy.

(more rules to come probably)

In honor of the contest, we’re posting an advance Guest Editorial from Ed Rockwell. Check it out.

We’re accepting submissions now! Email: northernplight@gmail.com