The Northern Plight

THE CHAPEL, MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In an effort to indicate North Central is not only a Christ-Centered but also a Springfield-Centered University, officials have announced a new name for the main assembly building. This multi-million dollar campus centerpiece originally titled “The Trask Word and Worship Center,” will now be called “The Center For Trask Worship.” This announcement has reportedly been in the works ever since Thomas Trask stepped down as General Superintendent of the Assemblies of God last summer. Theories abound as to why the change has occurred now, but many believe the name is a statement of allegiance to a more traditional approach to the church.

“We toyed around with a few ideas,” one anonymous building committee member told reporters. “‘The Center For Worshipping God With The Initial Physical Evidence of Speaking In Tongues’ was a contender for a while; so was ‘The Chapel of Traditional Pentecostal Worship and None Of That Scary Emerging Business.’ Frankly, the only reason ‘Revival Or Bust, Center For Attacking The Gates of Hell’ didn’t pass was because ‘The Center For Trask Worship’ was easier to put together using the words from the old sign.”

The name change has received mixed reviews from students, faculty, and alumni alike. Some have criticized the name change for being a “step backwards into tradition” while others have commended the renaming and the focus it seems to connotate as a “return to traditional values.”

“The debate about method, paradigms, and the structure of church in the 21st century continues to crawl along in the American Assemblies of God, and such a change is a bold statement by an AG University,” said one source close to those responsible for the decision. “One wonders if such drastic statements in this direction (or any other for that matter) is wise when trying to encourage honest discussion regarding these issues.”

While “The Center For Trask Worship” may indeed be an important statement for those who have an interest in the outcome of that debate, students who still attend the building daily for their chapel attendance requirement expect little change. All reports indicate chapel will remain going an average of 10 minutes over time and require you to act like you care about school sports. - WOODWARD

Read the counterpoint