Bridge Tragedy Leaves Rampant Trail of Realizing What’s Important In Life
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Practically no one in Minnesota watched hit reality television show “So You Think You Can Dance” last night during Fox’s Wednesday lineup. Experts cite real reality from downtown Minneapolis capturing viewers attention when the 35W bridge connecting the east and west banks of the Mississippi River collapsed leaving at least 4 dead and 79 wounded. According to analysts, many regular viewers of standby shows like “America’s Next Top Model” or “The Daily Show,” forwent their regular evening in front of the TV in order to call a relative they haven’t spoken to in a while or to say a prayer on behalf of the families of victims.
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No One Cared
Additionally, Apple Stores reported 40% less shoppers inquiring about the iPhone, a rally protesting the mistreatment of muskrats was called off, and whiny radio talk show hosts, in light of recent events, could find nothing Hilary Clinton said significant enough to justifiably complain about.
This statewide sobering of values has left many Minnesota retailers and cosmetic surgeons worried. “We always see a big dip in sales after a tragedy,” said a department store manager at the Mall of America, “It’s always bad for business when dads say ‘I love you’ to their kids instead of buying them an HDTV.” But local jewelry store owner, Isaac Luzbinski isn’t worried. “This is America,” he told reporters, “Buying useless stuff is how we deal with tragedy.”
As area ministers and priests prepare for the guaranteed influx in attendance this Sunday, many ask themselves how long this adjustment in perspective will last. “Tragedy shouldn’t be the only reminder of what we value,” said one minister, “but sometimes it’s all we’ll respond to.” - Woodward
Woodward
Bernstein
Thursday, August 2, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Although veiled by callous overtones, I understand your direction, but you completely lack any tact, class or maturity. Sarcasm and satire have their place, but your perverted, uncaring attempt is so soaked with ignorance you are barely worthy of response. This terrible event took the lives of innocent people and permanently altered many more - you owe your community an apology. I certainly hope no one who was affected by this stumbles upon your post.
The Northern Plight: Careless Elementary Satire & Intellectual Void
Friday, August 3, 2007 at 11:00 am
Some advised me not to post this article yesterday, some suggested I wait a few weeks, and still a few suggested I go ahead with it. It was my concern people would misunderstand my intentions and I see that danger has already played itself out. While your description probably has some merit for many of the posts on Northern Plight, I do not believe it fits for the Bridge article.
It was not my intention to make light of this real tragedy. Instead, it was a call to realize what tragedy does to the community surrounding it, and to embrace the momentary clarity.
Tragedies like Virginia Tech, Katrina, and 9/11 sober us and unite us in a way unparalleled by any other aspect of the human condition. Perhaps I’m idealistic, but sometimes I wish we could maintain these altered mindsets for more then a few weeks, a few days, or even a few hours after the accident. You said this terrible event altered the lives of many people. Unfortunately, I fear the only people who will alter their lives at all after this are those directly effected.
Friday, August 3, 2007 at 11:10 am
I was about to comment on this topic… but then found that the person before me stated exactly what I was about to. Very disappointing. Very sad.
As to your reply, woodward, I see your intention and purpose now that you have clarified. However, I can think of a few other places that may have been more appropriate to post such a thought. Probably not on a site filled with “sarcasm and satire”…
Even humor has a line. I am not shocked at reading this here, but by knowing who wrote it and feeling they should have known better.
Friday, August 3, 2007 at 11:25 am
I think it’s exactly what the doctor ordered. Seriously, everything in that article was true. Just cuase this blog is holding up a mirror doesn’t mean you can blame them for what you see. Yeah, it may have been a little soon but it is true now and will be true in 3 weeks/months/years.
It’s easy to take stabs at people hiding behind anonymity.
woodward had a great response, i appreciate the honesty.
Friday, August 3, 2007 at 10:58 pm
“It’s easy to take stabs at people hiding behind anonymity.”
..and so I ask you, what do you consider a stab? All that was called for was an apology. And how is “Woodward” any less obscure than “Anonymous”? Their profile is a fake - a pen name! (look for yourself–Han Solo) If anyone is “taking stabs” it is Woodward - the irony is that Woodward has exposed his true self in that he is actually no different than the people he is making fun of. Woodward is out of touch, insensitive and pompous. Just take a glance at the third paragraph and you’ll see Woodward’s ignorant arrogance. Beyond that, JakeAnderson, you must have missed the part where the previous Anonymous post said, “I understand your direction”- the point is, I think we all understand the idea, but it does not excuse such carelessness. I don’t see this as “holding up a mirror”. Anyone with an ounce of courtesy understands this was and is an irresponsible post and should be treated accordingly. Satirical blogs and news venues are a dime a dozen and MOST were responsible enough to leave this story out of their publications. It seems the Northern Plight is more of a tabloid for wannabes rather than an “unofficial news source” for a so called “christ-centered” school. I looked up North Central University and I hope you’re not representative of other’s at that school. I’m sure they don’t appreciate your uninformed rants on your psuedo-newsblog either. For those who are not familiar with the school, you can go to http://www.northcentral.edu. Apparently Woodward has some association with this school.
Although I do not live there anymore, I have strong connections to the Twin Cities and I am simply defending the honor of a great community and protecting the hearts of those involved with this tragedy.
I couldn’t agree more that we should strive to “maintain these altered mindsets for more then a few weeks”. I think it is obvious your post is directly interfering with that cause. For 30 sec…think about a teen who lost their mom reading your post…or ask yourself, “How does this ‘maintain these altered mindsets’?” I hope that you can see this point of view and you not only repeal your original post but go a step further to encourage the societal change you claim to desire.
Next time, maybe listen to others’ advice. What good has the post done? None. None at all.
Saturday, August 4, 2007 at 1:09 am
You are right in that this post is insensitive to a victim’s situation. To be honest, the scenario you outlined is not one I considered when I first posted it. For this reason, I apologize for my being inconsiderate to anyone directly connected to this accident that may have stumbled across this post. Your personal loss was unnecessary and thus far without explanation.
However, to those of us who heard about the accident, called our friends and family to make sure they were OK, then either metaphorically or literally went back to our video games, our 9 to 5, or the counting of our money without recognizing how this event SHOULD change the way we live; this is The Northern Plight. Welcome.
NOTE: Do not judge North Central University by your interactions with one or two students alone. I hope the disclaimer at the bottom of the blog makes our position clear.
Saturday, August 4, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this one. Honestly, i bet that these ‘Satirical blogs and news venues’ that are dime a dozen will eventually write something to this effect. Anyone who reads newsprints like The Onion have seen numerous stories on tragedies like this one.
Thanks for reading! Good to hear your opinions.
Saturday, August 4, 2007 at 10:28 pm
exactly. the point is, there is a time and place for satire and this was the wrong time. next time call your mom before you write something and ask her if it’s ok–clearly you’ve got some maturing to do.
Sunday, August 5, 2007 at 12:41 am
Thank you for negating your decent opinion with infantile slander. Interjecting crude and cutting remarks into your seemingly well-thought out comments simply displays to all the world who the immature one actually is here.
Thanks for your opinion!
Thursday, August 9, 2007 at 10:49 pm
I was a bit offended when I first read this post, to be honest. However, after going beyond just my initial reaction, thinking a bit more, and rereading, I decided that the heart behind the article had good intentions and a valid point.
I vote that readers decide to not be as offended as most choose to be when reading something that tugs at our yearnings to be politically correct 99.9% of the time.
The point of the article was that we should take the “jump-to-prayer-&-faith, call-yo-momma, donate-your-time-and-money-to-help, and realize-life’s-a-big-deal” attitude and stretch it into our everyday lives… not just disaster moments. I think it’s a good point. Idealistic maybe, but it hit home with me.
Friday, August 10, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Excellent post, good timing. You called attention to a sad, but true, truth. I live in another major city, and for a few days, people in my city made themselves feel important by telling everyone around them about their ties to Minneapolis. I recieved about 20 calls from friends that know where I’m from, all asking if I’m alright, then exploiting the situation to discuss how much they care. Some spent upwards of an hour talking about how important of a situation it is. Knowing these people and their true character, I thought much the same thing as you brought to light. So I ask, which is the more offensive– An article that satirically exposes a sickening gap between true character of Americans, or the incredible amounts of people that used this sad incident for water cooler banter, small talk, and self flattery before moving on to the next big fad that can indulge their interest for entertainment?
Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 4:40 pm
I think anonymous is a dumb name.
Thursday, September 20, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Might I add a quick statement to this somewhat heated debate. I lost a friend to this horrible tragedy.
I would like to thank those of you who quickly offer concern to those directly affected by this.
However, I must say, I found this aricle to be insulting, sad, and an outrage. Allow me to understand. This article is a slap in the face to all those who carried a flag for a week, or sand God Bless America for a month after 9/11. It is sad, because it is so true. And the outrage is, that instead of seeing the truth behind this article, most of you have focused on the negative.
Personnally, it was a bit painful to read, but I would like to openly thank the author. This is a point that was absolutely necessary to make. Too many of us have become fair weathered christians, theists, or patriots even. It’s time that we left behind the “oh a tragedy, i think i’ll start caring now” attitude and truly care.
Granted, there are many people who do care year round. Yet the sad truth is, that unless a tragedy is made into a huge spectacle by the media, we would not give it a second thought.
I lost a good friend to this tragedy, and I know that if he read this, he would be absolutely thrilled that someone finally had the courage to step up and say what the truly felt.
So, the only thing left to say is this. Thank you, Woodward, and keep writing.
Friday, September 21, 2007 at 5:14 pm
To Anonymous: Nothing is sacred in satire; obviously, all of our prayers are with the families of the victims of this tragedy.
On a more editorial note, I am intrigued by your closing statement in your first posting. I believe that you should have added an -ly to “Intellectual,” unless you were attempting to call The Northern Plight an “intellectual void.”
…which brings us to an interesting predicament: can a void, which is really nothing at all, be intellectual? Do we bestow a sort of ’somethingness’ upon the void by describing it as intellectual? Discuss.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 at 12:45 am
Thank you friend of deceased.
This post was written the day after the disaster and quickly took the form of a rant against a phenomenon that hadn’t occurred yet. The wound was still fresh and I think the comments criticizing my story show that. For a long time after I wrote this, I wondered if it was a mistake.
After reading your comment, I feel satisfied it was indeed something worth saying.
I am sorry for your loss, the masses of people who paid attention to your friend’s death because it was in the news but have since forgotten it matter little, compared to the few who were closest to him who genuinely appreciate what his life meant.
Thank you for your honesty. And thank you for reading.
Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 8:44 pm
yep no one cares anymore… sad sad sad.